I have spent my life lost, wandering through charred lands and
fruitless fields while holding strong my selfishness and a stubborn stance.
I wept the bitter tears of frustration while fighting the furious fires
that plagued me through my running, through my stringent resisting.
I cravingly searched a reckless world for truths that were empty and hardened.
I ignorantly crashed through devious nights, blind and desperate, searching for numbing relief from my own misdeeds and pain.
Through my own mistakes and misled judgments, I was broken to a beggar's knee, pleading deeply for promised mercy and a smiling sweet salvation.
Time and again, I lacked a hero's courage but rather cowered in my shameful ways before my life's fight had even begun.
Finally, beaten to defeat and lying upon a hopeful but meager sacrifice of curious, worldly scars and meaningless promises, I relented a lost and dying heart and began swimming to the gracious rhythm of a God who had been patiently waiting for my surrender all along.
No longer do I search for my own haunted solutions but instead willingly march to the God-beat of a solvent Savior, losing myself in the soft magnitudes of His love.
Mesmerized by the sheer depth and width of my God, I can't help but now wander in Him, lost in His grand yet melodic songs of wonderment and hopefulness, even craving to call to those around me, pulling them gently so that they may also be lost within my God's conquering greatness.
Stretching beyond my darkened pasts and through my forever futures, my God is beyond the comprehensions and appreciations of my sinner's soul yet my racing heart searches and happily grasps for all of Him, allowing myself to capture all I need but somehow knowing He will never end.
No longer lost in a blackened world of shallow salvations and needing promises, I have instead become lost in a God that is large enough to forgive my sins and big enough to forget them, refusing to hold them against my chest in a debt owed but unpaid.
I have, at last, found the honorable path of my days and now infinitely walk in the warmth and longing of the gracious God who couldn’t watch me wander lost without Him.
Instead, He has brought me close and allowed me to become lost with Him and through Him.
I have become eternally lost in Him.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
The Climb Above
Come now and watch as I climb higher. I look back not toward you, down amongst your regrets and hidden sins, but rather push on toward my heavenly but attainable goals.
I have paid my dues and bled my sinners blood dry, completely crashing in a devious, burning wreck after running lost for so long.
I have been rebuilt in His image and will only taste the ways of a holy God from these days and on forth.
You may stand there and hurl your tired insults of my aching past, claiming I am too used and unwitnessed in my resurrection to be made new.
So please, press my burning sins of long ago to my proud chest and allow them to brand me for your own pleasure.
Spit your contempt toward all who know of me if only to see if your sinister sneers are supported.
You may do and say as you wish against me and my now Godly journey.
I wish thee well and shine on.
I am as I am not as I was and I, the saintly zealot, will shout my trying triumphs to the skies as I scale the melting mountains of public opinion and come out free, the God-blessed victor again and again.
I have been handed a purpose.
You and your sniping snarls shall not drag me down.
So come now, watch my cruising climb as I rise above the ashes of who I was and rush toward who I am called to be.
Keep cutting your eyes and whispering your rank rumors, they do little to deter me from my given greatness.
I am eternally tried and true, closing constantly closer to the briliant blueprintof a genius God.
Come now and watch me climb...
I have paid my dues and bled my sinners blood dry, completely crashing in a devious, burning wreck after running lost for so long.
I have been rebuilt in His image and will only taste the ways of a holy God from these days and on forth.
You may stand there and hurl your tired insults of my aching past, claiming I am too used and unwitnessed in my resurrection to be made new.
So please, press my burning sins of long ago to my proud chest and allow them to brand me for your own pleasure.
Spit your contempt toward all who know of me if only to see if your sinister sneers are supported.
You may do and say as you wish against me and my now Godly journey.
I wish thee well and shine on.
I am as I am not as I was and I, the saintly zealot, will shout my trying triumphs to the skies as I scale the melting mountains of public opinion and come out free, the God-blessed victor again and again.
I have been handed a purpose.
You and your sniping snarls shall not drag me down.
So come now, watch my cruising climb as I rise above the ashes of who I was and rush toward who I am called to be.
Keep cutting your eyes and whispering your rank rumors, they do little to deter me from my given greatness.
I am eternally tried and true, closing constantly closer to the briliant blueprintof a genius God.
Come now and watch me climb...
You've Forgotten
Oh, how easily it slips your mind.
You sit rigid in your chosen pew, half-heartedly clapping your hands to the repeating renditions of faith.
Your mind wanders to less worthy places of your life, ignoring the merciful salvations of a great God.
How shyly you capture the words of the beautifully blessed speaker a righteous Savior put in your life, not only forgetting the devious places He's brought you from but also ignoring the shattered events He has entirely kept you from.
You've forgotten the firing spirit that first coursed through your burning veins upon relenting your beaten soul to God.
Instead you choose to merely let the fresh saints take your once coveted place in a praise-driven service.
You've forgotten the bold release you were granted from a cursed life, simply allowing a crawling time to take from you your desire to worship.
You've forgotten you're a chosen child of Him and it is but a given right and commanded blessing to heap gracious mounds of praise to the smiling King that shelters your days.
So now, with renewed might, remind yourself of the crowded ways you've come and softly shake your dormant praise loose.
Push all you have in tribute and sacrifice to the amazing Messiah who whispered a saving grace through your broken bones.
Forget not from where you've come but release yourself in fervent praise and race back to where you've belonged.
You sit rigid in your chosen pew, half-heartedly clapping your hands to the repeating renditions of faith.
Your mind wanders to less worthy places of your life, ignoring the merciful salvations of a great God.
How shyly you capture the words of the beautifully blessed speaker a righteous Savior put in your life, not only forgetting the devious places He's brought you from but also ignoring the shattered events He has entirely kept you from.
You've forgotten the firing spirit that first coursed through your burning veins upon relenting your beaten soul to God.
Instead you choose to merely let the fresh saints take your once coveted place in a praise-driven service.
You've forgotten the bold release you were granted from a cursed life, simply allowing a crawling time to take from you your desire to worship.
You've forgotten you're a chosen child of Him and it is but a given right and commanded blessing to heap gracious mounds of praise to the smiling King that shelters your days.
So now, with renewed might, remind yourself of the crowded ways you've come and softly shake your dormant praise loose.
Push all you have in tribute and sacrifice to the amazing Messiah who whispered a saving grace through your broken bones.
Forget not from where you've come but release yourself in fervent praise and race back to where you've belonged.
Mad To Be Saved
I've soon found myself no longer satisfied by the complacency that comes so frequently close in hand with my Christianity, but rather shaking in a fervered fever to no longer sit quietly still and wait for His perfect end.
A buried burning has crashed through my soul with a lovely, scalding sermon, pushing me to jump from a silent rest and rush into a brightened new day with a craving madness for all the singing truths my saintly God holds for me.
No longer do I lay in a darkened state, bruising through the murderous moments that would hold me down to a fighter's stance and keeping me meekly complacent against my holy callings.
Instead, with shining eyes and graceful determination, a white-hot passion shoots through my electric veins and signals my sinner's soul to fervently search for and capture all the beautiful salvations I have missed, all the blinding blessings I have screamed beyond in my wasted past.
I have become but a mad man for I now find myself simply and wholly mad to be saved, craving to be in Him, with Him, used only through Him.
My holy madness is clutched closely now. I need and want only to see it grow without bounds, rapturing all that I am and all that I was ever meant to be.
I, the made new maniac, am mad to be saved and in Him, it shall be simply yet mercifully so.
A buried burning has crashed through my soul with a lovely, scalding sermon, pushing me to jump from a silent rest and rush into a brightened new day with a craving madness for all the singing truths my saintly God holds for me.
No longer do I lay in a darkened state, bruising through the murderous moments that would hold me down to a fighter's stance and keeping me meekly complacent against my holy callings.
Instead, with shining eyes and graceful determination, a white-hot passion shoots through my electric veins and signals my sinner's soul to fervently search for and capture all the beautiful salvations I have missed, all the blinding blessings I have screamed beyond in my wasted past.
I have become but a mad man for I now find myself simply and wholly mad to be saved, craving to be in Him, with Him, used only through Him.
My holy madness is clutched closely now. I need and want only to see it grow without bounds, rapturing all that I am and all that I was ever meant to be.
I, the made new maniac, am mad to be saved and in Him, it shall be simply yet mercifully so.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
The Thievings of God
With a halting but determined cruise, you've coasted through life in your own selfish way, acquiring the pride and deepened holds of one who stands tall among shattered regrets and fiery temptations.
Despite the beatings of your crushing days, you refused to surrender.
Instead, you shook your head and sneered hard like a slack-jawed rebel, simply finding the worth of raising your hands in humbleness impossible to justify.
With a hardened head, you took your lashings of a lacking life, pushing an unsatisfied smile into an unbelieving world and limping along an empty and forgotten road.
Finally, when you had become but broken and trampled, you bowed to a known but ignored God, raising your bleeding hands in a surrendering and cracked plea, hoping for the mercy you had heard so much of.
Seeing you with raised, aching arms, the God of your yesteryear sneaked close, reaching deep into the pockets of your begging heart and swiftly stealing from you the trinkets of your wayward, smoldering ways.
With a mighty but tender hand, He relieved you of your heartache and pain, of your hollow pride and smiling lies. He pulled from you the mistakes that had tossed you to your current slum of wild bereavement and self-indulgence.
Now, empty of the treacherous deeds and harping have not's, you are allowed to float up among the bright, undying love of the the thieving God who took from you everything that had weighed so mightily upon you, praising and living in the shining compassion of a stolen but healed heart.
Despite the beatings of your crushing days, you refused to surrender.
Instead, you shook your head and sneered hard like a slack-jawed rebel, simply finding the worth of raising your hands in humbleness impossible to justify.
With a hardened head, you took your lashings of a lacking life, pushing an unsatisfied smile into an unbelieving world and limping along an empty and forgotten road.
Finally, when you had become but broken and trampled, you bowed to a known but ignored God, raising your bleeding hands in a surrendering and cracked plea, hoping for the mercy you had heard so much of.
Seeing you with raised, aching arms, the God of your yesteryear sneaked close, reaching deep into the pockets of your begging heart and swiftly stealing from you the trinkets of your wayward, smoldering ways.
With a mighty but tender hand, He relieved you of your heartache and pain, of your hollow pride and smiling lies. He pulled from you the mistakes that had tossed you to your current slum of wild bereavement and self-indulgence.
Now, empty of the treacherous deeds and harping have not's, you are allowed to float up among the bright, undying love of the the thieving God who took from you everything that had weighed so mightily upon you, praising and living in the shining compassion of a stolen but healed heart.
Mad to be Saved
I've soon found myself no longer satisfied by the complacency that comes so frequently close in hand with my Christianity, but rather shaking in a fervered fever to no longer sit quietly still and wait for His perfect end.
A buried burning has crashed through my soul with a lovely, scalding sermon, pushing me to jump from a silent rest and rush into a brightened new day with a craving madness for all the singing truths my saintly God holds for me.
No longer do I lay in a darkened state, bruising through the murderous moments that would hold me down to a fighter's stance and keeping me meekly complacent against my holy callings.
Instead, with shining eyes and graceful determination, a white-hot passion shoots through my electric veins and signals my sinner's soul to fervently search for and capture all the beautiful salvations I have missed, all the blinding blessings I have screamed beyond in my wasted past.
I have become but a mad man for I now find myself simply and wholly mad to be saved, craving to be in Him, with Him, used only through Him.
My holy madness is clutched closely now. I need and want only to see it grow without bounds, rapturing all that I am and all that I was ever meant to be.
I, the made new maniac, am mad to be saved and in Him, it shall be simply yet mercifully so.
A buried burning has crashed through my soul with a lovely, scalding sermon, pushing me to jump from a silent rest and rush into a brightened new day with a craving madness for all the singing truths my saintly God holds for me.
No longer do I lay in a darkened state, bruising through the murderous moments that would hold me down to a fighter's stance and keeping me meekly complacent against my holy callings.
Instead, with shining eyes and graceful determination, a white-hot passion shoots through my electric veins and signals my sinner's soul to fervently search for and capture all the beautiful salvations I have missed, all the blinding blessings I have screamed beyond in my wasted past.
I have become but a mad man for I now find myself simply and wholly mad to be saved, craving to be in Him, with Him, used only through Him.
My holy madness is clutched closely now. I need and want only to see it grow without bounds, rapturing all that I am and all that I was ever meant to be.
I, the made new maniac, am mad to be saved and in Him, it shall be simply yet mercifully so.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
A Blessed Healing
Through the softness of time's healing, this heart of mine has grown still, collecting a pauper's layer of dust.
With each long day that has passed, I have found myself no longer bleeding a broken heart's pain but rather feeling it slowly grow to a place of vibrancy and acceptance.
A blessed healing has wrapped my heart whole and allowed my eyes to see that an electric time of new beginnings have but come through a once shattered and lonely night.
With gentle hands and a pleasant growing smile, I grasp my meek and still vulnerable heart, shaking the heavy dust away.
No longer shall I hide the brilliance of the love I have to offer or the goodness I can prove to the one and only my God will provide.
No longer will I keep my mind and soul closed to the wondrous possibilities of a new and proven experience of sweet romance and kind temperance.
A fresh time of anointing has fallen to me and with these holy accommodations, I will be still and rest in reverence, waiting for the one true love He will allow.
For with His blessing finally coursing through my days, I will be able to love with an unrelenting brilliance that I have never known or shown.
With His smiling praise, I shall be the man she can love and cherish with no resistance, holding her close against my chest and protecting her from all that will be thrown against us.
My heart is now open and finally willing to be loved again.
It only waits for the righteous truth of love to flash itself in a blinding punch of wonderful calmness and blessing.
For this final and blazing act of assurance from my loving Creator, I am ready...
With each long day that has passed, I have found myself no longer bleeding a broken heart's pain but rather feeling it slowly grow to a place of vibrancy and acceptance.
A blessed healing has wrapped my heart whole and allowed my eyes to see that an electric time of new beginnings have but come through a once shattered and lonely night.
With gentle hands and a pleasant growing smile, I grasp my meek and still vulnerable heart, shaking the heavy dust away.
No longer shall I hide the brilliance of the love I have to offer or the goodness I can prove to the one and only my God will provide.
No longer will I keep my mind and soul closed to the wondrous possibilities of a new and proven experience of sweet romance and kind temperance.
A fresh time of anointing has fallen to me and with these holy accommodations, I will be still and rest in reverence, waiting for the one true love He will allow.
For with His blessing finally coursing through my days, I will be able to love with an unrelenting brilliance that I have never known or shown.
With His smiling praise, I shall be the man she can love and cherish with no resistance, holding her close against my chest and protecting her from all that will be thrown against us.
My heart is now open and finally willing to be loved again.
It only waits for the righteous truth of love to flash itself in a blinding punch of wonderful calmness and blessing.
For this final and blazing act of assurance from my loving Creator, I am ready...
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