Lost

I have spent my life lost, wandering through charred lands and
fruitless fields while holding strong my selfishness and a stubborn stance.
I wept the bitter tears of frustration while fighting the furious fires
that plagued me through my running, through my stringent resisting.
I cravingly searched a reckless world for truths that were empty and hardened.
I ignorantly crashed through devious nights, blind and desperate, searching for numbing relief from my own misdeeds and pain.
Through my own mistakes and misled judgments, I was broken to a beggar's knee, pleading deeply for promised mercy and a smiling sweet salvation.
Time and again, I lacked a hero's courage but rather cowered in my shameful ways before my life's fight had even begun.
Finally, beaten to defeat and lying upon a hopeful but meager sacrifice of curious, worldly scars and meaningless promises, I relented a lost and dying heart and began swimming to the gracious rhythm of a God who had been patiently waiting for my surrender all along.
No longer do I search for my own haunted solutions but instead willingly march to the God-beat of a solvent Savior, losing myself in the soft magnitudes of His love.
Mesmerized by the sheer depth and width of my God, I can't help but now wander in Him, lost in His grand yet melodic songs of wonderment and hopefulness, even craving to call to those around me, pulling them gently so that they may also be lost within my God's conquering greatness.
Stretching beyond my darkened pasts and through my forever futures, my God is beyond the comprehensions and appreciations of my sinner's soul yet my racing heart searches and happily grasps for all of Him, allowing myself to capture all I need but somehow knowing He will never end.
No longer lost in a blackened world of shallow salvations and needing promises, I have instead become lost in a God that is large enough to forgive my sins and big enough to forget them, refusing to hold them against my chest in a debt owed but unpaid.
I have, at last, found the honorable path of my days and now infinitely walk in the warmth and longing of the gracious God who couldn’t watch me wander lost without Him.
Instead, He has brought me close and allowed me to become lost with Him and through Him.
I have become eternally lost in Him.