Worth My Fight

Corrupt as your heart and conscience had become, you have finally found the courage to race back to where it is you belong.
As you crash through a breaking night, a host of temptations and darkened reasons find you in your vulnerable states of silence, yet you have kept the course and strive closer and closer to where you have always belonged.
Days upon days, as you beg and plead for your soul to be made white and pure in Him, those noisy demons of yesterday peck at your weaknesses and call to the senses of a vagabond finally made humble.
Being not deaf to the sweet calls toward lust and faster times, you have yet to relent, basing your strength in Him and His holy righteousness instead.
He is softly calling you back to where you started, calling you even further to a place you have never been, a place where you are free to be who you were always meant to be in Him.
Even as thousands of distractions and temptations are heaped upon your bruised and bloodied head, you fight your good and holy fight ever the stronger, ever the more, knowing within your brightened soul that every scrape, every wound is worth it all if only to be back in Him, living and breathing with an unburdened love of all things He has seen fit to place in your life.
Keep fighting your way back to that place of reverence and peace.
He is waiting with yearning mercy in hand, pleading for you to brush past that and those which only wish to see you fall and crawl back to sorrowful sin.
Keep fighting, healed soul, for once you reach that hallowed land of blessings and hope, you will see with a freshened conscience that it has all been worth your proud and steadfast fight.

Closer Now

Now listen for those angels' voices and frighten not against their words.
A fresh anointing has mercifully fallen upon your beaten brow and great things are once again required.
You have searched far and deep, desperately looking for a place to safely belong when He has been divinely waiting patiently for your stubborn walls to fall and a soft understanding to take hold.
He has called for you over and over again without yielding for He loves you without condition and desires for you to be closer.
Your life has been burnt to a feeble ground so He may do what He wishes.
The pain and consequence of a wasted life are fleeting to a far off land, never returning without a holy permission granted, leaving you to breathe easy in grace.
Keep Him closer now and you will find the peace and mercy you have craved.
It is there, waiting.
You've broken the bad away to make room for His will.
It is time now, and perfectly now, for you to be eternally whole.

A Tribute to the One

My diving conscience has been brought to the surface, breathing now straight and true as my once fighting hands rest quietly around her shoulders, feebly trying to protect her and needing to keep her close to me. I have fought against my own published proofs of love untrue to find the one that has but set me ablaze, burning what I once despicably was and building me fresh and new. She has broken in and sweetly stolen the beaten trust that I proudly kept inside my own heart, guarding it from those lesser deserving pirates who only saw fit to use up and destroy what meager means I had to offer.
She is the one that I hold close, pouring my adoration upon her in a deserved shower of praise and earned respect has become a loved ritual of mine. My helper and equal, this woman keeps me from my desperate, depressed self and now supports me and lifts me to heights I had yet to experience before her presence blessed my life. Her love is true and amazingly without condition even as I pound away at her eternal patience with own selfish pleas. She lifts my head when the world has broken me down and holds me close when my mind starts to wander to those darkened fields that haunt me. She is my mortal savior and without her I am but a speck of nothing, clanging about alone and with little purpose. She sweeps in and rescues me and my tired bones again and again, always with no praise or thankfulness expected but being purely unselfish and having the compassion of Christ Himself living in her soul. Amazed and honored that she has somehow found me worthy, I dance the dance of the blessed, thanking God for her with no end.
She is my love and my shield and I now proudly stand in sovereign tribute to the one who forever gives rest to my once fleeting heart.

"Why Do You Love God?"

I was recently presented with a question that struck very close my heart and I couldn’t resist the temptation to do a piece on the subject. During a recent service, our youth pastor asked those of us in the audience why we loved God. This may sound elementary and even spoiled, but I had never thought of the specific reasons why I am in love with such a mind blowing God. I always took what I felt for Him as natural and went about life. Today, I can say that I have righted that wrong. Here is my delayed response to the question posed by Nathan Smith, a brilliant speaker and leader but an even better friend.

“Why Do You Love God?”

With such mercy and passion that has been afforded to me by a righteous God, how could I not be in infinite love with all that He is? I have lived most of my life as a selfish child who mostly looks out for his own well being and yet, always, without break or hesitation, there is my God, ready to forgive me and take me back in to His mesmerizing ways. I have fought Him and resisted His calling to the point that I find myself beaten down by my own will and lack of understanding. Through my own stubbornness and depression, I have simply crashed about in my own desperate ways while a compassionate and loving Savior waits passionately by my side, saddened by what I put myself through. Such love and understanding is unrivaled to the point of disbelief.
My God has saved me too many times to count. Again and again, I dance away, relying on my own devices, only to find myself crawling back to Him with a broken humbleness. He is constantly by my side, singing a song of redemption as I lay healing and becoming whole once again in Him. I am a heathen and unworthy of such mercy, yet my God dismisses this notion as nonsense and simply waits for my slowly evolving comprehension. As I sit here and think on these things, only a single thought resonates throughout me…I love my God because He saves me from myself.

After reading this, I simply ask that you present this question to yourself. You may be surprised what your answer will be.

Peace and love,

C

As I Lift My Hands To You

In my past, when days were dark and time did nothing but crawl, I found it necessary to surrender myself to You on a constant basis. Doing so seemed fitting and right, relieving my pain and allowing me to continue my life’s journey without restraint. As I knelt before You, I would raise my hands in a symbolic gesture to show that I had but given up, surrendered and wanted nothing except for You to have Your will and do what You wished in my life. For hours, my arms cried for relief as they humbly hung in tribute to You and Your mighty ways. I mumbled through a choking throat that I was unworthy of what and who You are. I fought through those dark days because You were there waiting for me daily without hesitation or failure.
Now, as my days have brightened and my times fly free with blessings, I still feel the desire to raise my hands, to lift my arms to You. Yet, as I complete this act that once stood for surrender, I do so with a smile on my lips and a warming heart. This symbolic gesture has taken on its own meaning in my life. For I now lift my arms in a new meaning of burning victory and brimming accomplishment. With Your help and mercy, I have fought through the tough times and earned the right to raise my hands in complete and total victory in my battle for all the things that I hold dear. Victory is mine through You and it shall forever be so.

A Heathen's Self-Examination

And as you run, run, run, breaking your neck at a frantic pace, you are too busy to hear it.You rush about doing what it is that you do and living as you want as it grows steadily yet does nothing but entertains itself.
Slow yourself, heathen soul. Breathe. Listen.
He calls to you, wanting to have the relationship He intended, but you are unhappy and strained, living as you see fit. Do you not realize that He is all there is? In Him, we are complete.
In Him, there is everything worthy, everything good.
He has such plans for you if you would but take a moment to listen as He calls. He is what you need. Without Him, you are nothing.
Without Him, there is only sadness and failure.
He is electric and He is life. Your God that you have ignored is nothing but a blessing of love and happiness.
He knows your hearts desires. He knows what you crave.
Companionship, sweet love, success, happiness, joy, rest.
It's all there in Him if you will just slow to a step and relent that dictating control you hold so dear, that madness that needs to be resolved.
The time has come to cease everything that you are. Everything you have become is a reckless sideshow of selfishness and absurdity. Let Him take over and show you what amazing things you can do. Let Him show you what worlds He wishes you to conquer.
Slow to a crawl and be perfectly center in Him.

A Mother, A Wife, A Servant, A Saint

As her servant’s heart beats true, she is still.
She is of a purity and love that is rarely seen

but proven due to her forever willingness to serve others.
Always putting herself last, she allows those around her to thrive
and conquer as she supports and praises.
She is a teacher, a servant and a saint.
A restless love is confirmed over and over again

as she puts her own dreams and aspirations aside so that she may serve
those she loves to be all they are to be.
As she smiles and speaks with a passion
that is forever right below the surface,
she is the strong and able pillar her husband and children need.
A comforting word of encouragement
and a warm kiss are her weapons of choice.
She is all we in her life require
and all we are is owed to her.
She is a holy woman of God and she will be rewarded

for the selfless acts she is forever completing.
A mother and wife as there has never been witnessed before,

this woman so sweet and loving will be the reason

those she loves achieve such cosmic greatness and wonder.