Once again my crashing soul weighs heavy. My bones are cold and ache for the warmth that follows truth. I wonder time over time why it is that I feel so alone, why is it that I have no share in my burden.
I listen as he wails on the lack of love and having no one to rely on but himself. The complacent thought, “A fool of a man…” floats through my mind.
Realization sets in as I discover I am the ballad being wept.
I fight for that frightening chill that comes from no one being around. I long for the heavy burn of carry my load in a lonesome and drifting way. I am alone in my quest due to having let none in. I trust so few and wish to complete my tasks with my stubborn heart not being budged. The current result is that of a lonely and depressed man.
To lean on another or to allow myself to ask a saint to share in my load holds the deliverance I seek. If I am to rid myself of this feeling of such emptiness and desperation, then I must learn to release. I must put down my stubborn gun and unclench my shaking fists.
I want to. I need to.
To survive, I must teach myself to go against every instinct that restricts me. I must learn to trust in Another. To do so will only assist in my constant battle against that black knight that seems to rage after my trepid soul without ceasing. I long for help and security.
I am finally at my weakest point. No longer strong and able to keep up the fight myself, I fall in a constant stumble. Tried and beaten, I want but to stay down and sleep. Yet to do so will bring only a conclusion that I am unready to yield.
I must mumble a request for help. To make it another night, I require the assistance of a helper and a Friend. The time has come to bend my bloodied knees and humbly request the blinding blessings that come from relying on You.
Here I am…I need Your help.
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